Bullies. They are physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive.
We love to portray bully’s in movies like Biff from “Back to the Future’s”, Draco, “Harry Potter”, “Mean Girl’s”, Plastics leader, Regina George., Percy of “The Green Mile”, Johnny Laurence in “Karate Kid”, the list goes on.. . We love to hate bullies and adore when they spur heroes to extreme action. In movies they are often comical or dramatically portrayed and they provide a challenge for the film’s protagonist.
But life’s not like a movie is it? Bullies aren’t usually funny or go away that easily. Especially that bully inside you.
WHAT? What do I mean about the bully inside you? It’s that side of you that can be physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive to yourself. I’m talking the critical, abusive little bugger who nags in your head, tells you that you are going to fail, tells you that your fat, ugly, dumb, everything is your fault…etc. Basically the inner bastard that picks on you.
So how do we step up to the challenge like in the movies (kind of) to make that little jerk go away? Maybe take a look at what we tell our kids to do when they are bullied?
Here are some ideas….
1. Ignore the bully.
Don’t listen to him/her, don’t spend time reacting or feeding the negative thoughts. Walk away from those nasty words, mentally walk away. Focus on the task at hand or think of something positive.
2. Surround yourself with loving thoughts about yourself.
Make it a habit to think of something positive for every negative…big or small. “I am kind”, “I am good at making coffee”…whatever works. Reward yourself with accolades and be kind to yourself.
3. Try to set up success in your life in practical and attainable moments.
Don’t compare your life to someone famous, the extreme wealthy, genetically gifted athletes or even your friends. Practice practical success. “Today, I will be on time” and be happy when you do. “I will get my workout in” and reward yourself with a mental hug, not cookies (just saying). “I will not buy anything that is not on my list” and when you stick to your budget…celebrate!
4. Be understanding that most people have an inner bully too at some point in their lives.
Do don’t feel bad about feeling bad. Two negatives just make more negative. Feeling bad is like giving a bully a reward or positive reinforcement, “Yes sir, I would like another” .
5. If you can’t do it on your own or the bully doesn’t get a clue, then tell someone and get help.
Just like we tell kids…tell someone! That’s what professionals do. Seek out a therapist or life coach to help you find strategies to deal with inner bully. No shame that you don’t have all the answers. Life is complex and it’s not two dimensional like a Hollywood movie.
You are the main character in your life, the protagonist and you can also be the hero we all cheer for.
Peace